Born To Be A Mother

21 Jan Born To Be A Mother

Ever since I can remember I wanted to be a mom. I wanted a large family with children running around everywhere. As I grew older I found myself with many females problems. A the age of 19 I was told by several Doctors that through my recent surgery my insides looked like a 80 year old woman. I was filled with scar tissue and my tubes were blocked. Right completely and left somewhat. I would soon need another surgery to go in and clean our the scar tissue and attempt to save my tubes.

It soon began to effect me beyond what I imagined. Knowing they might not be able to save my tubes and well, I was not made of the money it would take for fertility treatments so I would be left with only one concern and that was never being able to be the mom I knew I was born to be. While my husband and I would drive by parks I would physically get sick watching all the children playing and of course those playing with their parents.

I could hardly stand it. I knew God created in me a deep desire to be a MOM and so why would He do that if I would never know what that joy felt like? Well, many surgeries later I found a great Dr. and well, I’m the proud mom of three biological children. One C-section and two natural births. O, the Lord was not finished with me yet. We have had the joy of being Exchange parents to kids now grown from all over the world. We have fostered hundreds of children and adopted four, but parents of many. Many meaning they knew we were Mom and Dad and felt that little piece of paper meant nothing to them. One of our heart adopted children “Chris” just got out of the military and well he came home. Life is sweet.

Now a new journey awaits us starting in June. Our youngest birth son graduates from high school and this is the son that always said he would never leave home to go to college. He was going to a local college. Months ago he shocks us with a decision to attend a college 10 hours away so we go to visit and then decides on a Music Conservatory over 20 hours away. My heart hurt so bad, but I know he will do well and we gave him wings to fly.

My husband and I are starting to prepare ourselves for that day. What are we going to do without children in the home? It’s going to be so quiet and I hate quiet. No more “MOM, come here” every five minutes. I worry so much because of the world we live in. Will they be safe? Will they make the right decisions? Will they have enough to eat? Will they be treated fairly? Will they make good friends? Will they get up on time for school? The list goes on and on. What do we do as parents to make it? We of course knew this day would come one day. I’m not ready, but we grew them up in the Lord and gave them wings to fly the coop and make a life of their own. Time flies by, we are here.

I would love to hear from al you empty nesters on how you handled it and got through. Email: bonniespeaks@me.com Facebook.com/bonniesbradshaw

Part two coming soon……. More decisions made